“For what it’s worth… it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you’ve never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start over again.” F. Scott Fitzgerald
January 1, 2024
Now, I know there are many folks who would attribute that quote to David Fincher‘s THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON and while you’d be right – those words were in fact first published more than a century ago in a short story of the same name written by the great F. Scott Fitzgerald. The screenplay crafted by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord is loosely based on the short story, but the above written quote remained unchanged when it was included in the film as a letter from Benjamin (played by Brad Pitt) to his daughter Caroline (played by Julia Ormond.) I chose this quote today because it’s the perfect jumping off point for this new project of mine called glimmers of bliss. An evolutionary chapter of storytelling that with any luck will yield revolutionary results.
True – I’ve been sporting the ‘storyteller’ hat for a good number of years now, and whether those stories were crafted for television or radio, in print or online – they were always spun in a positive light. It’s my nature – being positive I mean – and I have my father to thank for that disposition. Without question I was blessed with a wonderful family and a loving home so yes that served to reinforce it, but I believe my hard-wired ability to “make the best of it” – to see the glass half-full and them some – comes courtesy of Jack Swinimer.
Ask anyone who was related to, friends with, worked for, worked with, played alongside even played against my dad Jack and they’d tell you he earned his nick name “Smilin’ Jack” honestly. He was the very finest kind in so many ways – a great son and brother, a fantastic husband and the absolute best father a girl could hope for. And when it came to the business side of his life – he was just as successful. Having enjoyed two storied careers – first with the Bank of Nova Scotia and then after early retirement another successful run with his brother Bill. And on top of all of that he had a great love of sports – captain of multiple hockey teams, a tournament winning golfer and great lover of baseball most especially his beloved Boston Red Sox. He and my mother had also traveled a great amount. Beyond transfer to Trinidad with the bank, during which we visited every Caribbean Island, he and my mother took many trips throughout North America and over to Europe too. He was truly principled, extremely kind-hearted, incredible conversationalist, very funny, smart as a whip and oh so accomplished. It’s important for you to know all these things so that when I tell you this next part you’ll have some semblance of the shock I felt and still feel following our very last conversation. So here goes…
I’m not sure what time it was, only that official visiting hours had long since ended. I had made the decision to return to the hospital after taking mom back to their home in Holyrood. I’d flown in to be there for him so it only made sense to stay by his side through the night. The hospital room was dimly lit and his breaths were shallow to be sure of it – but we still managed to make small talk about the Red Sox and movies and whatnot. More accurately I rambled with the hopes of keeping things light and yes… positive – with Dad periodically engaging as best he could. Finally with a break in my trivial dribble he spoke the last full sentence I can remember him saying. He said “I just don’t think I’ve done that much in my life.”
It was jaw-dropping, so much so that I’m not sure I’ve got the words entirely right but that was the gist of it. I couldn’t believe this incredible man who had truly done so much for our family and with his life – felt like he ‘hadn’t done that much.’ Naturally, I followed that statement quickly with the long list of every accomplishments – jobs he’d done, awards he’d won, trips he’d taken, milestones he’d made. It took a while and when I was done he just sort of nodded and asked if I would let him rest. Kind to fault. I sat out in the hall for a few hours until the light of day poured into his room and I made my way back with the attendant that brought his breakfast. He didn’t eat it and he didn’t say much more than single syllables after that. He waited for my brother to arrive early that afternoon and passed away very shortly after. A great father to the end.
We were all gathered around him and we all watched him go but only I heard that last statement and it confounds me to this day – for so many reasons. Looking back I wish I would have asked what he meant before I started listing. Just imagine how much I would benefited from that insight. Did he mean he wished he had more time to do more amazing things? Did he not remember all the amazing things he had done? Did he just need reassurance that he made something of his life? If only I had asked. Now I can only hope and pray that I brought him some reassurance and comfort that night. More than anything though – I wonder why on earth this extraordinary man wasn’t aware of how awesome he was?! For if ever there was someone who should have been proud of the life he lived – it was Jack Swinimer!!!
My Father died ten years ago this past April, but there hasn’t been a day since his passing that I haven’t thought of him – his unwavering support, his stellar advice, his never ending dad jokes, his trademark smile. I carry him with me and I hear him in my heart always. So glimmers of bliss is for him and for me and for all of us really. May we pause to appreciate and celebrate our accomplishments. May we take stock of our wins and lessons from our losses. May we embrace all the little moments along the way to realizing all those dreams come true. May we start living “a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not” have “the courage to start over again.”
For this week… A Life You’re Proud Of
I’ll share more on all the exciting aspects of this ‘glimmers of bliss’ project in the days and weeks that follow, but for this first week of this brand new year I want YOU to pause for a second and think of one goal you achieved in 2023. Big or small – size doesn’t matter – we’re looking for glimmers in the greatness. Maybe you reached the finished line or maybe you’ve made great strides but you’re still hard at it. Wherever you are on your journey – I do hope you’ll take a moment and celebrate whatever it is and if you’d like please share it below so we can celebrate You too!
This is just the beginning. I’m so happy you’re here for it.
sb
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